


Lonely Desperation

by Asceplius



Category: The Lighthouse (2019)
Genre: Clothed Sex, Groping, Internalized Homophobia, Loneliness, M/M, Missing Scene, Rough Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28062582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asceplius/pseuds/Asceplius
Summary: Being stuck alone on an island invites madness, but it also creates loneliness which in turn makes a man desperate for touch.
Relationships: Thomas Wake & Ephraim Winslow, Thomas Wake/Ephraim Winslow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Lonely Desperation

The waves crashed hard against the island sitting alone in the vast dark ocean. On top stood a single lighthouse reaching its light out into the dark calling for a boat, but none ever saw its light. Wind pushed on the building and rain thundered down on its walls as the cold broke through to inside.

Within the lighthouse two men drank themselves into oblivion. Their emotions heightened and guards weakened. They brought out a lantern to fight off the darkness from engulfing their room. 

The loneliness of the island drove them towards each other with aggression. Who else did they have but the other to ease the pain of being alone. They were both desperate to touch the other, to give and receive affection and warmth.

But they were men of their time. Men who were expected to strive for independence and to never want nor need anyone but themselves. Men do not feel, do not need affection to survive, and most of all they do not crave the touch of another man.

And yet Winslow and Wake circled each other in a drunken craze as they reached out for each other’s hand to hold on to. Winslow pulled hard on Wake almost knocking the old sailor into the table, his inner desire driving him to pull Wake closer to him.

For most of his time trapped on this island Winslow was certain he hated the man. He was lazy, smelly, a bad cook, and condescending. Yet, Winslow secretly craved his validation and attention. The old man had a mysterious way of creeping into Winslow’s dreams, both when he was asleep and awake. 

When Wake opened his arms Winslow gladly returned the gesture and hugged him tightly. They jumped and sang loudly, nearly deafening the sounds of the storm howling outside. For most of his time here Winslow despised it, but here in this moment he was happy. Happy to yell, happy to drink, happy to dance with Wake warm against him.

When Wake broke off their sudden embrace to perform his jig, Winslow felt a tinge of sadness strike him inside. So, he did what any man would do when overcome by negative emotion, and quickly distracted himself with alcohol. 

Wake ordered him to dance and Winslow could not fight off the need to please. He wanted Wake to like him though he could not understand why. Winslow spit out his drink and danced feverishly.

The men continued to dance into the night until they became exhausted in their movement. Tentatively they moved closer as a ploy to be close. They laughed it off as a joke when they bumped into each other, neither admitting to themselves it was intentional.

Winslow acted as though he was too drunk to stand properly and fell onto Wake’s shoulders. He expected Wake to shove him off and for them to wave it off as drunken clumsiness, but instead Wake held onto him.

“Aye got ye lad,” he spoke softly and Winslow felt Wake press his hand against the small of his back keeping him in place. Now it was Winslow’s responsibility to bring them back to acceptable behavior before they went too far, but Winslow was tired. He was physically exhausted from working and so tired of feeling lonely. Winslow realized his loneliness did not begin when he landed here, he had been carrying it with him since he was born. It left him feeling cold for so much of his life.

So Winslow did not move when Wake’s hand softly moved up his back the way only a lover’s would. He did not step away as Wake led him into a slow lazy waltz that couples danced. Instead Winslow laid his head down on Wake’s shoulder and wrapped his arms steadily around the sailor’s body.

They moved slowly and Wakes singing put Winslow in a trance. He was comfortable being wrapped up in Wake’s arms, and he snuggled deeper into him. He gripped Wake’s suspender to hold him tightly. His other hand moved against Wake’s back, rubbing up and down his shirt feeling the warmth of Wake’s body through his clothes.

Winslow tucked his face into Wake’s shoulder, his lips grazing the sailor’s neck. It was then Winslow realized he desperately wanted to kiss the man holding him up and singing gently to him.

Winslow had urges like this before, even before his time at the lighthouse, but never had he acted on those feelings. This time Winslow was too drunk to push down his overwhelming need.

Winslow halted the dance and Wake stopped in place with him. Winslow withdrew his head from Wake’s shoulder to look him in the eyes, his face barely inches away from Wake’s. He saw Wake’s eyes flicker down to gaze at Winslow’s mouth. 

Seeing that his desire was requited gave Winslow the courage to kiss the old sailor. Winslow gripped the back of Wake’s neck to hold him in place as he shoved his tongue down the man’s throat. Their kiss was awkward and clunky but got better the longer it lasted.

Winslow’s hands traveled down Wake’s back and gripped his bottom. A moan escaped from Wake’s mouth which prompted Winslow to kiss him harder.

Wake’s hands were in Winslow’s hair pulling his head down to him. When the sailor stopped pulling, Winslow grunted in displeasure. He felt Wake’s hands slide down his face and passed his shoulders where they landed on his chest. Winslow assumed Wake wanted his shirt off, so he responded in turn by undoing the buttons on Wake’s shirt as he repeatedly kissed the sailor through his beard. Winslow then bent down to kiss the tattoo etched into Wake’s chest.

Wake’s hands did not stop at Winslow’s chest. They continued moving downwards where they stopped at his belt. Winslow realized what he was doing and something in him snapped. The reality of what they were doing crashed down on Winslow. He pushed the old man off him making Wake stumble and nearly fall.

“What’s wrong with ya?” Winslow barked. “You’re actin’ like some broad!”

“Aye?” Wake retorted. “Says the man grabbing at me like a whore! Don’t be daft Winslow, ye were kissin’ so I could barely be breathin’.”

“You-! You’re so desperate ya tried fuckin’ me!”

“Aye, and ye would want me to I bet.”

“Ah shut up!” Winslow raised his fists into the air aiming at Wake. “I’ll show you how much of a man I am!”

“Show me then,” Wake urged. He mimicked Winslow’s stance with fists held firmly up. 

Winslow charged forward and punched Wake in the stomach pushing a grunt out from the old man. Wake returned the blow with a hit to the jaw. 

Winslow grabbed Wake around the waist and pushed him against the cabinet behind him. They struggled grappling at each other, tugging on cloth and hair. They fell down and continued wrestling on the ground with Wake on top. Winslow felt overwhelmed at the feeling of Wake’s body weighing down on him with his hands groping his body.

“Get off me!!” Winslow screamed. His panic rose as he felt his face heating up. “Get off me!”

Wake straighten up hastily but did not move from sitting on Winslow’s waist. He frowned as he peered down at Winslow’s desperate face about to break out in tears.

“What’s wrong with ye?” Wake mocked. “Ye want ta kiss me, then ye want ta fight me? What’s it that ye want lad?”

“I want ya to get offa me,” Winslow said. 

“Aye,” Wake said. “But that ain’t what ye want.”

Wake pressed his weight down onto Winslow’s sensitive area then gave a quick buck of his hips. A sharp gasp emitted from Winslow and his hands tightened around Wakes legs.

“Do ye still want me off ye?” Wake asked. He jerked his hips forward again eliciting a moan that Winslow tried to keep trapped beneath closed lips. Wake began rocking himself on top of Winslow, creating friction that sent waves of pleasure through their bodies.

Sweat dripped down Winslow’s face as his teeth clenched. He was struggling hard to fight back his own wants. He knew it was wrong to feel this way, to want more, to need his touch, but Winslow’s mind was so foggy and Wake felt so good.

“N-no,” Winslow muttered through haggard breaths.

“What was that lad?” Wake asked as he grinded against Winslow’s body.

“Hrrn, no!” Winslow said. 

“Speak up boy!” Winslow demanded. He stopped rocking and remained motionless on top of Winslow’s fidgeting body. The lack of pleasurable feeling made Winslow crave for it to return. He felt shame to beg but knew he would. He would do anything Wake told him, and he hated the old man for it.

“No sir!” Winslow shouted. “No sir!”

“That’s a good boy,” Wake said. “Real good.”

Wake began rhythmically rocking his waist against Winslow’s, exerting moans from the both of them. Winslow twisted the fabric of Wake’s open shirt in his hands and tugged hard on them.

As the cold wind and rain rattled the lighthouse the two men gave each other warmth and pleasure throughout the night. When their desires were released from their bodies, the men were still not satisfied. They were eager for more human touch, and neither wanted to be left alone in the night.

Wake unbuttoned Winslow’s shirt to feel warm skin against skin and they slept tangled together in bed. 

By morning they would dress themselves and go their separate way. They evaded the other, pretending as though nothing happened between them. Eventually their loneliness would drive them mad again and they would violently collide into each other, seeking warmth and connection to satiate their lonely souls.


End file.
